Mending your heart after it's been broken can seem like a tough, almost impossible thing to do. Statistics prove, however, that it takes on average two years to finally mend a broken heart... so it can be done!
The following ten points might help you along the way:
1. Allow yourself to cry to relieve your emotions
He's broken your heart and you’re in pain. To survive the first few difficult days, allow yourself to mourn, take off work, sleep all day, sob. Don’t try to be brave – submit to your sadness and feeling of loss. Repeat an affirmation to help you through the pain, such as "This too shall pass" or "I will survive".
2. Take an inventory of the good and bad points of the person who broke your heart
Write down what you really miss and loved about this man, and record his negative traits as well. Write down too how, in your perception, the relationship changed during the time you were with him
3. Ask yourself what he did for you
What kind of positive things did he bring into your life? How did he make you feel on a regular basis? What did he have to offer you? If the pros do not out weigh the cons, then you are probably better off without him anyway.
4. Spend plenty of time with good friends and family
Reach out to a close friend or family member – it helps to share your thoughts and emotions with others. Visit an old friend or go back home to your roots. A change of environment does wonders for the spirit.
5. Take good care of yourself
Exercise releases 'feel-good' endorphins, and rebuilds self esteem. Spoil yourself. Watch a humorous or sad movie – both laughing and crying are healing experiences. Write a journal, or write your ex a letter but don’t mail it. Remove all reminders of him.
6. Remind yourself that there truly ARE other fish in the sea
Important to know is that you can be happy with millions! Furthermore, there will be more people in your town or city with whom you could be happy.
7. Assess the experience
Have you learnt from your experience to make more suitable choices in future? Does the experience make you more empathetic to others who've suffered a hardship?
8. Continue to socialise and exercise
Your heart will mend. Socialize with friends, keep up the exercise, and go out on dates. Part of the healing process is to know that your heart can still flutter over someone.
9. Consult a psychiatrist
If you still experience symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleep, low self-esteem, an inability to concentrate, or difficulty in carrying out routine tasks, consider seeing an experienced therapist.
10. Remember that healing is a process that takes time
Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear – even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.
Compartmentalize the experience in your memory: "My heart was broken once. It really hurt and I'm glad it's over."
Contact your ex – but only for friendship – since trying to win him back will only set you up for another heartbreak.