Psychology articles
Why divorcees make great partners
Is your relationship past its expiry date?
What does it mean if he keeps photos of his ex?
Is your man in love with you?
Perfume as a seduction tool
Facebook and divorce
How to mend a broken heart
The thin line between love and hate
12 things men think we know
How to deal with a bipolar family member
4 signs that you're too dependent on your partner
Get serious - not serial
Is he more likely to cheat during pregnancy?
Are you a love addict?
Surviving sports fever
EX-cruciating exes
The friends you don't want
The key to a balanced relationship
Does your man have “Peter Pan” syndrome?
Five tips to get out of a relationship rut
Get married, stay married, live longer
Together for love or convenience?
How to be your own best friend
Staying sane when living with family
The thin line between love and hate
A love/hate relationship is a common idea but when you stop to consider it, it seems like a contradiction in terms.

Is it really possible to love and hate the same person at the same time?

Surely if you feel so negatively about a person that you can actually bring yourself to say, “I hate you,” you couldn’t possibly also love them … or could you?

While it seems so implausible, it is actually quite possible

Yes, love and hate are both very powerful emotions but they are not, as many assume, on opposite sides of the spectrum. If they were, then when both occur simultaneously, they would simply cancel each other out.

Instead, they both have a tendency to stick with us, sounding together, yet inharmoniously, striking a dissonant chord.

The actual opposite of love is apathy, not hate

It’s this seeming contradiction that makes people believe that they can’t be levelled at one person at the same time.

The truth is that the actual opposite of love is not hate, but rather apathy or disinterest. These polar opposites mean you either love someone or you don’t care about them at all.

Take this a step further, then, and consider that hate, much like love, is a powerful emotion. Therefore, how could you possibly muster enough emotion actually to hate someone if you didn’t care about them in the first place?

Usually, you hate someone when they have done something to hurt you badly, but their actions wouldn’t really hurt if you didn’t care about them.

The entire reason that you are hurt is because you expect better from the person in question. You want them to return your feelings and treat you as well as you do them. When they fail to do so, you become hurt and angry and this can devolve into hatred.

But even as you feel this strong hatred, this doesn’t necessarily mean you have stopped loving them. In fact, if you stopped loving them, you wouldn’t feel anything at all.

It's because of your strong emotional ties to someone that you can hate them

Think about it this way: if someone you love took drugs, you might hate them for engaging in such risky behaviour, but if you saw a perfect stranger on the street doing drugs you might register disapproval, but you wouldn’t actually say you hate them.

Why is that? Because, being a stranger, they have no emotional connection to you so there is no reason for them to spark an emotional response.

As human beings we have a wide range of emotions and in most cases they are closely linked to one another. Anything which sparks one can’t help but also stir the others. The more deeply you love someone, the more likely you are to have other deep, passionate feelings towards them.

Love and hate, far from opposing each other, actually tend to work hand in hand. So if you find yourself saying, “I love you, but I hate you,” you are not alone, nor are you wrong.

When you open the door to one emotion, you are opening it to all the others as well. The melody may not always sound very pleasant when the emotions sound together, but that’s all part of the complex nature of being human!

How to have a fight-free holiday
How to deal with an obsessed ex lover
Living together before marriage
WIN! with The Bedroom!
She asked ME to marry HER...
How to identify an abusive relationship
Help, I'm afraid to leave my abusive man
When jealousy turns scary
Dealing with a jealous sister-in-law
Make your partner feel special
The tao of relationships
WIN! with Virgin Pleasures!
Relationships: the chemistry myth
When your partner has intimacy issues
The art of letting go
Relationships 101
How to cope with a moody partner
Relationships: cutting the ties
Sexy Ever After
Why is he different around his friends?
Friends like these...
I want kids but my partner doesn't
Relationships: making it work
Relationships: weathering the storms
A 30-something’s take on dating
What we can learn from men
The Ex-Files
How to handle a toxic friend
How to handle a bragging friend
When your mother-in-law moves in
Frogs or princes?
Are you qualified for a relationship?
At what age should you get married?
Help! He cheated with my best friend
Lies men tell us
10 Signs he’s a keeper
Why married women have affairs
Guy friends: the other kind of boyfriend
Are you involved with a narcissist?
Women's surnames - keep hers? Take his?
Can you have too many friends?
What DO men want?
Helping a friend through cancer
Bonding activities for couples
How to get more help at home...
Help! I think he might be gay
How to help a suicidal friend
Five little white lies we tell men
How to know when it’s time to go
He was abused - will he be abusive too?
I kissed a girl
Should you take an ex back?
Visit Statistics