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A 30-somethingís take on dating
If, like me, you are 30-something, once-divorced and no longer on the shelf, youíve probably asked yourself what the difference is between a rebound and a bounce-back relationship...

Iím talking from personal experience!

Iím a happy single mother of a highly demanding four-going-on-nine-year old, and for a long time I thought that he was the only male I had space and time for in my life. Him and his still-present father.

But I was wrong. Mommy also needs adult male company and before I knew it, I was back in the dating game and was pondering the rebound, bounce-back conundrum.

So whatís the difference between rebound and bounce-back?

Well, I think Iíve figured this one out. The classic rebound would suggest that youíre not really looking for anything long-term and that in fact, you want to use the person in question for everything other than forming long-lasting and meaningful bonds that might form the basis for a relationship.

The converse or opposite of that would be a bounce-back

The bounce-back, or bounce you need to get right back into the game again. Yes, itís scary and youíll suffer from self-doubt regarding your bum, boobs, thighs, and other wobbly bits, but hey, itís worth it!

Now, Iím not saying that the rebound and bounce-back categories are mutually exclusive. However, Iíve found it useful to think of relationships in these two categories in my own experiences because I have definitely bounced back!

Let me explain. When I met my current partner, I realised that I was in fact hiding from the whole dating world and actively put my sonís needs ahead of my own. I made excuses at every opportunity to not date or expose myself to the opportunity of dating. I was scared that I couldnít bounce-back.

So much has changed after being out of the game for eight long years

It was scary to think that I didnít know what to do on a first date or where to go to even meet a half-decent man! My solution to the myriad of unanswered questions and unpredictable future scenarios that I had no idea how to deal with was: hide!

Luckily for me, the bounce-back was easier than I thought and there was no hard bounce, just a soft landing. Three months into this relationship and Iím still learning more and more about myself and my new partner.

It must be my new lease on life and on dating in general, but itís true what they sayÖ mature love is more rounded and developed. Somehow I am able to appreciate it more this time around.

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