If, like me, you are 30-something, once-divorced and no longer on the shelf, you’ve probably asked yourself what the difference is between a rebound and a bounce-back relationship...
I’m talking from personal experience!
I’m a happy single mother of a highly demanding four-going-on-nine-year old, and for a long time I thought that he was the only male I had space and time for in my life. Him and his still-present father.
But I was wrong. Mommy also needs adult male company and before I knew it, I was back in the dating game and was pondering the rebound, bounce-back conundrum.
So what’s the difference between rebound and bounce-back?
Well, I think I’ve figured this one out. The classic rebound would suggest that you’re not really looking for anything long-term and that in fact, you want to use the person in question for everything other than forming long-lasting and meaningful bonds that might form the basis for a relationship.
The converse or opposite of that would be a bounce-back
The bounce-back, or bounce you need to get right back into the game again. Yes, it’s scary and you’ll suffer from self-doubt regarding your bum, boobs, thighs, and other wobbly bits, but hey, it’s worth it!
Now, I’m not saying that the rebound and bounce-back categories are mutually exclusive. However, I’ve found it useful to think of relationships in these two categories in my own experiences because I have definitely bounced back!
Let me explain. When I met my current partner, I realised that I was in fact hiding from the whole dating world and actively put my son’s needs ahead of my own. I made excuses at every opportunity to not date or expose myself to the opportunity of dating. I was scared that I couldn’t bounce-back.
So much has changed after being out of the game for eight long years
It was scary to think that I didn’t know what to do on a first date or where to go to even meet a half-decent man! My solution to the myriad of unanswered questions and unpredictable future scenarios that I had no idea how to deal with was: hide!
Luckily for me, the bounce-back was easier than I thought and there was no hard bounce, just a soft landing. Three months into this relationship and I’m still learning more and more about myself and my new partner.
It must be my new lease on life and on dating in general, but it’s true what they say… mature love is more rounded and developed. Somehow I am able to appreciate it more this time around.