Is your man suddenly interested in manis and pedis? Do you feel inexplicably jealous of his male friends?
If you have answered yes to these questions, you may be asking yourself whether he is gay...
Look out for the signs
According to statistics from the Centers for Disease Control (and Prevention) in the US, it is estimated that at least 4 million women have been involved with men who have had sex with other men. This is enough to give one goosebumps.
If you feel like your man may be part of that statistic, consider the following signs, outlined by Heather Cram, which indicate that he might be homosexual. She is the author of the book You’re what?!, containing survival strategies for straight spouses.
The first sign is that he might be having suspicious non-verbal communication with other men. This can be something simple like a look, a touch or hug that lasts a little too long or seems to be intimate.
A clear red flag is if you find that he is in the possession of homosexual pornography.
If he shows extreme homophobic behaviour, in other words, the fear of gay people or anything concerning homosexuality, it might just be a confirmation of his sexuality, of which he might be in denial. Cram emphasises that you must be wary if he continually makes jokes at the expense of gay men, or rages towards homosexuals and/or homosexual behaviour.
He isn’t necessarily gay
Cram states that no matter how worried you are about your man being gay, you must be very careful before you accuse him. She stresses that you must be 100% certain about his homosexuality before confronting him.
If he is spending more time doing his hair than you do, don’t jump to conclusions or have sleepless nights. It’s highly possible that it’s just a guy-thing or something new he tries with his hair to impress you. She also states that you must remember that if your man is overly sensitive, caring and emotional, it doesn’t mean that he is gay. It’s not unnatural for some men to have a feminine side.
There may be hope for him
On the other hand, if you aren’t willing to face the truth and still want to spend the rest of your life with him...there is hope. According to Dr David Delvin, a GP, if your man admits that he is having homosexual thoughts and/or gay dreams, it doesn’t mean that he is necessarily gay.
Delvin says that plenty of heterosexual men who have never had a sexual encounter with another man have such dreams. He adds that it’s also normal for heterosexual women to have sexy dreams or fantasies about other females.
It’s a fragile situation
According to Dr Delvin, there may still be hope for your man. But if he shows all the aforementioned signs and completely neglects you, you may consider confronting him about it. But as Cram says, double check your facts and be sensitive about the situation. If he turns out to be gay, as hard as it is, accept it and move on. In a few years you won’t regret it, especially if you have children or considered having children.