Traditional gender roles are being questioned, according to new research on marriage proposals.
A survey in the UK suggests that, while it is still largely considered traditional for a man to propose, women are getting so tired of waiting that they are popping the question themselves.
One in ten women has proposed to her partner, according to the UK research
However, three-quarters of those surveyed said that they wished their partner had done so instead.
To gauge what South African women thought about the matter, 1st for Women surveyed 141 women who had mixed feelings about popping the question.
55% of the women surveyed said they wouldn’t dare, 35% said they would or had asked for their man’s hand and 10% would consider doing so.
Robyn Farrell, managing director of 1st for Women Insurance Brokers notes that tougher economic times are having an effect on the rate of marriage proposals.
“Relationship therapists have noted that romance is disappearing from marriage proposals, partly because of the recession, which has caused people to reevaluate their aspirations,” Farrell says.
Further findings show that 60% of men who do plan to ask their partner to marry them, are not planning to do so while down on one knee. This, according to a relationship therapist in the UK, is good news, as it shows that more people are proposing in an original manner and doing it in a way that suits both partners.
Ideas for asking your partner to marry you
“Deciding to get married is a massively important step in every relationship. So ladies, before you propose, the two of you should discuss the possibility of getting married, and ensure that this is something that you both want. You need to know where both of you stand with regard to major issues, such as finances and children,” says Farrell.
Farrell adds that you don’t want to catch your partner completely off guard - you may find that he hesitates as a result, or even says no.
Once you are sure you are ready to make the move but unsure how you would like to go about it, consider options that will be special for both of you.
• Set up a scavenger hunt. Give your partner instructions for the scavenger hunt, including little surprises he would enjoy at the first few stops, and then hide at the final location, ready to propose.
• If your partner is an outdoor enthusiast, plan a hike, camping trip or walk. The element of surprise is on your side, owing to the unusual venue.
• Be creative - incorporate your personality, favourite things and foods into the proposal. Make it memorable.
That said, the best proposal is surely one that will be heartfelt for both you and your partner
“A proposal absolutely does not have to be a massive gesture with bells and whistles. Wherever and however you do it, and whoever asks the question, make sure that you have fun with it and it is special to you,” Farrell concludes.
“Just make sure the engagement rings are properly insured,” she adds with a smile.